Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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