Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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