are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
