I hope mine doesn't look like that
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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