We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
