If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
