Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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