So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
