Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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