so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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