The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
