just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
