i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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