yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
