did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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