He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
