I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
