NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
