This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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