I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
