Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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