Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
