this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
