Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
