He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
