i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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