Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
