Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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