Kiss
Puke
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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