Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
