youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
