i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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