Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
