Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
there is puke in my bra ... again
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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