now i know why i became what i already was.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
