At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
