I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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