I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
