When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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