So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
