I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize