I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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