Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
