How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The adults are the big ones right?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
