D3 body, D1 cock
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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