On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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