Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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