There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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