On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
