I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
