We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
