Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
