If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
