So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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