I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize