I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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