i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
