Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
