He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
