I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
