Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish you could order shots online.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
