Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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