I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
