Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
