youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
