I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
