he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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