did you get engaged???
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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