Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
