im about as happy as oj after his trial
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
