i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
