I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
